Friday, November 27, 2009


(Who’s who, darhlinks…)

I have set myself an Herculean task: to compile a modern “Chictionary” and, in tandem, the Fash-Pack answer to Debrett’s (which is of course, the original social register, and still the last word on the Top of the Brit Toffs). Debrett’s has totally moved with the times – positioning itself via its shiny modern website as the go-to great uncle for advice on all things aristo (

Head here for advice on dressing for a royal wedding, or how to address a viscount, but what if your queen is McQueen? What about that then? Debrett’s is bugger all help on that front, I can tell you. Anyway, it costs Boodles. Two-hundred and ninety-five quid for a copy of the latest Peerage & Baronetage. And Galliano’s not even in it.

So. I’m for a fashion reference vehicle that juniors in the Vogue fashion office can afford (when I last checked they earned two shillings a week, so the poor things need a free service, no?) Carry on so charitably and I might sneak onto the queen’s New Year Honours list…in which case I’d be hoping for a free copy of Debrett’s. Until then, I’m doing this: seeking to chronicle fashion’s good, bag and ugly, its muses great and small, old and new. And it’s lingo, as we’ve already established.

It ain’t vellum bound, and it’s doubtless chronologically unsound, but herewith my Chictionary of Muses takes type. But who to pick first for my team? Nuclear Wintour, perchance? It’s getting late, the wine’s all gone and the mosquitoes are biting; I’m not feeling tough enough to take on Anna’s bob ce soir. Kaiser Karl? I’ve just re-read The Beautiful Fall by Alicia Drake (Bloomsbury) - impossible to do the man justice one sad little paragraph. Suggestions please!

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